Orchard Park Police On Lookout For Serial Pooper That's Wreaking Havoc On Area Lawns

While it’s very true that when you have to go, you simply have to go, there’s a whole lot to be said for tending to your business before it becomes an issue. Most fully functioning adults are well aware of this simple fact, and they build some extra time into their daily rituals to accommodate for the calls of nature.

For the creatures of habit among us, a trip to the restroom is imperative prior to leaving the house for the day.

Taking that simple step will help you to avoid having to take care of it elsewhere, which isn’t always the most convenient thing in the world. Absent things that may naturally arise during the course of an average day, some things are just best tended to at home whenever possible.

All of that is a really nice way of addressing a somewhat uncomfortable question: if you know you’re on the regular side and need to go at certain times, then why on earth wouldn’t you take care of it before leaving the house?

We get it. Life gets in the way sometimes, and you need to take off at a moment’s notice. That’s an unavoidable occurrence, but repeatedly neglecting to take care of business when you basically have the same routine every day is on the highly questionable side.

The judgment of this jogger in Orchard Park, New York is certainly on the questionable side, and area police have a rather smelly caper on their hands as a result.

As the Huffington Post shares, residents have reported finding feces and tissues on their front lawns, and some homes have even been targeted more than once. The prime suspect has yet to be identified, but a clear warning sign has been posted in the area.

“To the person/jogger who is pooping on our lawns in the village of O.P.: Stop,” the sign reads.

While that’s enough to get the point across, the sign also goes on to explain exactly what the problem is.

“You are violating a health ordinance that prohibits depositing untreated sewage on land or water!!! You are putting our neighborhood at a serious health risk, especially children! We have installed trail cams to identify you!” the note continues. “The Orchard Park police are increasing patrols in our area!”

For even more emphasis than the liberal use of exclamation points could ever provide, the damning sign was signed by “The homeowners whose property you invaded.”

Police acknowledge that they don’t have much else to go on at this point, so there hasn’t been all that much movement in the investigation as of yet.

That said, security cameras and increased patrols could have encouraged the serial defecator to take care of his or her business elsewhere, so we may never know exactly who was letting it rip on lawns throughout the tight-knit community of Orchard Park.

Surprisingly, this doesn’t appear to be an isolated incident. Earlier this year, there was another serial pooper that was defecating on lawns throughout Colorado Springs, Colorado. That pooper was targeting one specific house, and the prime suspect has been identified as a female jogger.

We sincerely hope that this is not the start of a new trend within the jogging community.

Source: HuffPost
Photo: Roadgeek Adam/Flickr, Orchard Park Pennysaver, YouTube

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